and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
