whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
