I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
