sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
