I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
