this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
