if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
high people should be assigned attendants
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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