someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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