Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
