I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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