This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
