I think my fart just growled at me.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
