Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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