i wish there were pregnant emoticons
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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