We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
