remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
