i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
