I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
