I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
