"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
