uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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