I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
