Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
