I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
