Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
