i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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