Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
