at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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