she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you inspire me to be a worse person
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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