Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
