Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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