Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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