there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
