omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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