We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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