Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
