I love black thongs
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
