I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
