She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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