it wasn't lemon gatorade
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
