Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
