what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
