He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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