We won't sleep together?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
