You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
