even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
