Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
