Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Sext me about skeletons
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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