Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
