Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
In America we eat man semen.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
