its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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